Why or why not?

In reflection, he then named his personal watch-out: "One thing at a time! Don't plan unrealistically. Don't just self-optimize. That's what I have to watch out for."

So far, so good. After a week, his feedback sounded like this:

"It was a tough week - with health problems - which I don't know at all. Then I take even less care of myself. I somehow persevered. It was very draining, but at the same time, I achieved some good things professionally. Consequently, I hardly kept 'me-time rules' - lived too much my classic pattern: fight and will and hardly acted consciously. There is also good to report: I have worked out a new 'delegation field' by reflecting on my daily tasks and going on a staff search next week to find the new position - an assistant to support me in communication. Your queries have helped me."

Why WHY?

This situation shows how difficult it is to implement new Habits when the goal/why is unclear. Why is that? When we prioritize achieving short-term goals instead of the personal "Why," we feel a fleeting good feeling at most - do not develop lasting satisfaction and strength. We continue to strive for "more" and feel no real fulfilment. In contrast, when we set a long-term goal - finding our personal Why - we ask ourselves completely different questions: How will more "me-time" help me feel more fulfilled? How does this relate to my purpose, my Why? Etc. Then, when we reflect, we ask questions like How much of my (daily) choices (in business) are reflected in my personal purpose? What about my calendar? Is it aligned with that?

In executive coaching processes, my experience repeatedly is that the "why" question scares off many clients because it is overwhelming. How do you succeed in taking the fear away from clients?

Creating long-term added value for all stakeholders

The first step is to listen and allow. E.g., that the client starts with a practical, implementation-oriented plan. If he then experiences - as in the case described - that he reaches limits with this approach, that the implementation falters or at least does not work as he would like it to, I open the "why perspective" again. Because of the self-made experience and the associated emotion, the client is now much more willing to engage in the "why question" and recognizes how important it is to think about the process from the big picture.

In the second step, I then reduce the big Why into small Why steps - against the background: problem - solution - benefit. And then I ask: If you have found the solution to your problem - here: Micromanagement - what do you think will be your personal benefit? For your family? For your company? For your employees? Exploring the added value for the individual stakeholders is already easier for most people who bear responsibility. In the end, we put the individual steps together to form a big picture. In this way, the Why becomes tangible and, in the best case, achievable through the coaching process.