I would like to be so different - I just get to do it so rarely......

"I still remember when a colleague once said to me: 'With you, one thinks one has booked a ticket for first-class and then finds oneself in the luggage compartment'. There are two reasons for that: First, my powers of persuasion are indeed notorious - second, I have a talent for selling the worst situation as great, and I use that. And here's my problem: I use this especially in conflict situations, when I want to avoid things and prefer to talk things up instead of addressing the problems. That feels increasingly weird to me."

Michael B., managing director of a medium-sized company, concluded after taking the LINC Personality Profiler. One result with a high level of insight was his critical orientation, which is described in the LINC Personality Profiler as follows: "You have no problem questioning the status quo, and you have a strong tendency to look critically at existing norms and value systems. You also do not spare hierarchies and leaders, whether professional or political, in your criticism. If a rule does not seem reasonable to you, you may well deliberately disregard it." His spontaneous answer was: "I'll drive through a red light at ease if I don't consider it sensible - I've ever tangled with a policeman there. And I can sell the luggage compartment as a first-class even if you don't 'do' that. If it makes sense to me, for example, because it avoids the conflict of having to discuss with people whether it's comfortable there or not - then I do it just to avoid having to discuss it."

"Are you aware that you are acting in this way? Do you think about it beforehand?" I ask.

"In the past, I just wanted to solve problems - afterwards, half the people were angry. In the meantime, I more often register it beforehand. But I still like to live by my principles and try to avoid conflicts. They make me uncomfortable."

"Why?" I want to know from Michael B..

"Basically, I am a very harmony-seeking and empathetic person, which is also reflected in my LPP results. Since I have become more and more aware that I cause damage with such actions, I try to stop myself beforehand. But I don't always succeed."

"What could be the first helpful step?" - I start, moving him towards a solution.

"I could make myself aware of it regularly."

"What else?"

"Maybe asking my GF colleague, with whom I am currently doing many projects together, for feedback?"

"What exactly might that look like?" I want to know to develop a concrete implementation.

"Ask him to challenge me."

"Describe such a situation in reality - what could this challenging look like in everyday interaction?"

"It's very simple - he 'may' call me on my enthusiasm art when it catches his eye and challenge me at any time! For example, with a sentence like: 'Did, I just book another ticket for the baggage compartment? Can you tell me why?'"

As a basic rule, he agreed with his feedback giver that he would only give him this specific feedback in private.

What was most helpful for Michael B. was the confirmation and, at the same time, rediscovery of his empathy. Over the many years in management, he had repeatedly noticed that he was "perceived differently = less empathetically" in the office than at home or among friends. But he had never really become aware of it, let alone researched the cause. In the end, however, it was this feeling of "incongruence" that led him to me. His LPP profile results clearly stated: "You take a great interest in the fate of your fellow human beings. You feel the feelings and fate of other people yourself and are guided in your actions by this empathy. You clearly tend to value human factors more highly than financial or factual aspects." It was precisely this empathy that he had almost completely discarded in his professional life. Instead, he had built up armour and developed a new behavioural pattern. In psychology, this is called - building a persona.

Moreover, when he became aware in coaching how much he was stepping on the toes of others with his creatively lived criticism orientation, the bad feeling prevailed. The process of raising awareness via the LINC Personality Profiler was thus the key to the solution! As in every one of my executive coaching processes, Michael B. developed his action plan with me, which he has been implementing sustainably ever since.

[Translate to English:] Shutterstock.com | Alberto Andrei Rosu